I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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