Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
