So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize