Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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