I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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