I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my being single is dangerous.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
