i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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