It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
found the other keg... it's in the tree
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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