Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
