He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
