its not stalking. its research.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize