i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My pussy is not your playground.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
