I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
