We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
