Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
