That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
