I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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