Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
