you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
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She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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