3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
