I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
