I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The best revenge is premature balding
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
