my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
