Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
