im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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