I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
