so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize