Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
