Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize