I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
