Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
