She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
