okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
