I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i love accidental penises.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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