fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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