i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
