Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
