Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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