They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
