Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
