I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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