i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
