Whod you bang
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
