He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize