so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
