I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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