Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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