Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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