hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
