I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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