Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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