South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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