I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also, beer. Big fan.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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