i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
