The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize