Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
