I am spending my child support on dildos
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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