i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
