Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
